Becoming Acceptable to Others Versus Being Our True Selves

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”

Anais Nin

So long as the pinch is not felt, one can go on living a lie. So long as you cannot see the pain, you can live through the bruises. But doesn’t reality paint a different picture?

A group of 4 teenagers decided to visit a locked wing of their school. Less than half a mile from the school was this dilapidated, haunted-looking block of a two-floor building. It was still part of the school premises but remained abandoned. This building had a story attached to its broken windows, rusted hinges, and hanging doors. These spoke of a tale 50 decades ago that was never mentioned again but never touched, destroyed, or replaced. Any time a student’s curiosity got the best of them, a teacher would simply ignore the question and move forward.

But these 4 teenagers needed to know why that particular building was still left there the way it was. To experience the thrill of it, they made a bet. Whoever among the four reached the top floor of this building would be called the bravest. Driven by the thrill of it, the boys ran toward the building and started trying to break the lock of the door. But among them was a boy who didn’t run. He was hesitant and so stood still until his peers noticed him. The other more dominating kid shouted at him and told him to look for a big stone to break the lock. But the boy didn’t move. Rather, he took a few steps back and then ran away. 

“A little sissy!” His friend shouted out at him while the boy ran away in tears, knowing that soon he’d be bullied by the other kids in school.

Even though the young boy did the right thing by not pursuing an old school building, his peers would not let him think so. Maybe, this boy was always with this group so that he could be looked at as one of the cool kids. He would probably laugh with them and at their jokes or do scary things with them after school. Maybe he would just pretend to be a kid he isn’t but as long as he did that, he was liked and accepted.

“I wish that I could be like the cool kids

‘Cause all the cool kids, they seem to fit in

I wish that I could be like the cool kids

Like the cool kids”

This song by ‘Echosmith’ resonates with the way we wear masks. We want to be part of something that society or we define as cool and acceptable. So, we put on a mask to hide who we truly are because the real side of us may not be accepted. Acceptance is what most people consider important to them. It’s scary not being accepted. Life is tough when you’re not accepted, and invariably, you get to see the darker side of people who don’t accept you for who you are!

This is where we become someone or something more acceptable to others. Who are we doing this for? Our whole life oscillates between becoming and being.

Becoming is the road often taken where masks are in the plenty. 

Being is the road less taken where masks are dissolved.

Can we transcend from becoming to being?

Your Spiritual Quotient is the best answer to this question.