Crucifying The Ego-Driven Purpose

“One may understand the cosmos, but never the ego; the self is more distant than any star.”

~G. K. Chesterton

One may often seek to satisfy the ego. It is the part of the self that constructs one’s sense of identity. It can be a source of both strength and confusion. This makes ego a paradox where one can grasp the mysteries of the universe more easily than the depths of their own being.

Does ego have such a stronghold on us or are we allowing it to drive us a certain way? Should we say then that we need a purpose purifier?

In one of my blogs, I’ve talked about a purpose-driven vision where the race of time does not hold the primary position of one’s journey. In a specific newsletter, I’ve shared how VVIP (Vision, Values, Identity, and Purpose) is the salt of your leadership journey. In it, I have focused on how PURPOSE dives into the reason for your existence. I’ve talked about how it helps address profound questions such as ‘Why am I here?’ or ‘What is the meaning behind it all?’. True and real purpose serves as a guiding force that brings clarity to your life’s mission.

But there is also a kind of purpose that gets twisted in a knot when driven by ego.

In the world we live in, there is a constant race to reach a finish line of what I want, what I must have, and what I should get.

It is a race that if won or lost defines our value and worthiness of existence.

I want…

·       to own that sports car

·       to buy that sea-facing villa

·       to start my own business

·       to expand my business and earn more

·       to get a good life partner

I must…

·       get that CEO position in this organization

·       be better than my peers

·       impress my seniors

·       be more innovative while managing my projects

·       know all the market trends

I should…

·       be an intelligent boss, looked up to by my employees

·       win that award for my company

·       also make sure no one can compete with my organization

·       be a better person, aware of what I speak, feel, and think

·       not disappoint my family or people at work

These goals are mere objectives of materialism, and sometimes emotionally driven. They are what become our life’s purpose. We feel somehow that if we do not achieve these things then life will not be easier, it will become tougher. There is some truth to this but there is a point of difference. Not achieving these goals does not mean that one must live unhappily until one reaches those milestones.

Take the example of a person who has never owned a car before. He took a driving test but failed it. He wants to keep trying but does not have the time to pursue it. Other factors are also getting in his way such as a recent separation, loss of his job, and not being able to pay the rent on time. As his friends know what he is going through, they offer to sometimes give him a ride home after occasional get-togethers.

Sitting in the backseat or the front of their car creates a sense of longing within him. He starts looking at the cars driving by on the road, wondering which color car would be best, the type of brand more suitable, and so on. The longing turns to desire, the desire turns to a feeling of deprivation, and this sense of deprivation turns into a gap that he wants to fill. And he will not rest or be happy until he does.

·       I want to own a car.

·       I must own a car.

·       I should own a car.

It’s okay to desire something that would make you momentarily happy as well but when the desire turns into your purpose, you stop living life to its fullest. So, if you do make something your purpose, you need to reflect on it. What is your reason for having this purpose? What is it driven by? Is it because you want to achieve something that is beyond you or is it just status-driven.

What if I told you that purpose driven by ego is an illusion?

By recognizing the illusion of purpose, we can free ourselves from the chains of expectation and live a more authentic and fulfilling life.

But why are we driven by our egos

“Ego is a ghost who is terrified of dying.”

~Mooji

Ego refers to the construct of I, me, mine, and myself. The moment you step out of this construct, the flow happens and you become a witness to all things happening. You are simply enjoying the process and allowing it to fulfill you. You are not driven by some purpose to make an impact for yourself there. In essence, you are going through with the crucifixion of the ego.

The ego, much like a ghost, is not a tangible entity. It’s a mental construct, a collection of thoughts, beliefs, and desires that we often mistake for our true selves. The ego is inherently fearful. It clings to the idea of a separate, individual self. So, at the end of the day, we have to reflect upon whether we are placing our purpose ahead of us or our ego.

The ego turns into a burden that one carries until one reaches their goal. It denies you of living in the present moment. Due to this so-called purpose, you are living in the misery of the past and an eager expectation of the future.

A social media influencer has the job of seeking attention and validation through likes, comments, and followers. Their single purpose is to maintain a certain image and status of popularity. But once that goes down or they find their following reducing by the day, it affects them negatively. And that is what ego can do to the mind.

If you see, the ego becomes excessively tied to external validation, leading to an inflated sense of self-worth. A decline in popularity can trigger fear and anxiety, as the ego equates its value with the number of followers. The ego becomes dependent on constant positive feedback, making it vulnerable to negative comments and criticism.

Similarly, a parent who micromanages their child’s life, pushing them towards specific goals and aspirations, often reflecting their unfulfilled dreams. This behavior is driven by a desire to control and shape another person’s life.

In this situation, the parent’s ego projects their own unfulfilled dreams onto their child, seeking vicarious satisfaction. Its need for control manifests in micromanaging the child’s life, stifling their individuality and autonomy. Here, the ego-driven parent may struggle to empathize with the child’s feelings and desires, focusing instead on their own expectations.

In both scenarios, the ego becomes a limiting factor, hindering personal growth and genuine happiness. Therefore, by identifying its presence and influence, one can become more mindful of its effect and work towards a balanced and fulfilling life.

When you crucify your ego, you are allowing yourself to realize that your sense of a separate identity is an illusion. Furthermore, you are allowing the resurrection of life because you are bringing yourself back to the present rather than staying in the future or living in the past.

“If your purpose is not letting you enjoy the journey, and live in the present moment; that is not your purpose, that is your ego.”

~Krescon Coaches

Also, the ego fears the unknown, the void, and the nothingness that lies beyond the self. So, it clings to its limited identity, even if it means suffering. Therefore, the ego is a fearful entity that constantly seeks to perpetuate its existence. It’s a phantom that thrives on fear and insecurity. By recognizing the illusory nature of the ego and letting go of its grip, we can experience a profound sense of freedom and liberation. And this is where the ego-driven purpose is deconstructed and removed from your way.

Here is a simple and powerful few lines said by the Jamaican spiritual teacher, Mooji:

I love to see the beings being set free

from the hypnosis of conditioning;

from fears, false projections, and the grip of ego. And I know that to be liberated is not difficult. It requires only openness and the sincere desire to be free. I don’t need to hear anything about your past. Your stories are of no interest to me. That is not how I know you. I know you only through your Heart. That is my true connection with you – the living power of God.