Down the centuries, fighting for equality had become a necessary response, giving women a chance to showcase their potential and redefine unfair social norms. This movement led to progress and opened doors for future generations.
However, as time progressed, there developed a constant need to prove oneself. This turned into an exhausting and discouraging way of living, leading to reinforcing the very stereotypes intended to be broken.
Historically, societies assigned different roles to men and women. While back in the time, it was essential, it also led to creating an imbalance between the genders that needed to be recognized and addressed. However, down the years, it highlighted the importance of both roles. While women may be more likely to take on caregiver roles and men are expected to be the breadwinners, the roles are constantly evolving.
There is no doubt that men and women can excel in either. But the problem arises when instead of equal treatment, one is made to feel like they need to achieve equal strengths in all aspects.
This is where the status quo of the definition of equal balancing is challenged. Therefore, the concept of equality and the equilibrium stereotype must be revisited, dismantled, and redefined.
“It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept, and celebrate those differences.”
~Audre Lorde
We are often stuck between difference and equilibrium. Equal measure does not always mean 50-50 unless one is working on a Physics project.
Creative versus analytical energy, compassion versus wisdom, and work-life versus family life, among other aspects, all need varying balances and are not equal.
Sheldon: “I believe what you’re doing is using humor to avoid vulnerability.”
Penny: “Fine. Honestly, if I could have one quality… I wish I could be as smart as you guys.”
Sheldon: “Ha! Keep dreaming… Oh, I’m sorry. That’s me having fun with you. Look, you may not be as academically inclined as are we but you possess an intelligence I envy… which leads me to my answer… I would choose the ability to read people’s minds.”
Penny: “I can’t read people’s minds.”
Sheldon: “Well, what I meant was… I often misinterpret how others feel. Like, I can’t always tell if someone is only joking or laughing at me. You know, like, if they’re mad at something I’ve done or just in a bad mood. It’s incredibly stressful.”
Penny: “Well, now I wish I had the ability to make that stuff easier for you.”
The Big Bang Theory was a popular comedy series. Among the many interesting characters, there are two beloved characters Sheldon, who is a scientist, and Penny, who is an aspiring actress. In one of the episodes, Sheldon and Penny try out an experiment that supposedly makes people fall in love. It consists of a series of questions designed to promote intimacy and then finish it off by staring into each other’s eyes for four minutes.
During the experiment, Sheldon and Penny have to answer the question – “If you could wake up tomorrow, having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?”
While Penny confesses that she wishes she was as academically smart as Sheldon and his friends, Sheldon gives an even more intriguing answer. He wishes that he could read people’s minds or rather experience more empathy toward others.
The Big Bang Theory consists of characters, all of whom have their own balance of intelligence and empathy. However, the show singles out one character, Sheldon who is superior in intelligence but extremely inferior in empathy.
Due to his lack of empathy, he often finds himself unknowingly in a position where he has been terribly offensive to someone.
Leonard: “I don’t know but the girls do a lot for us. It’s the least we can do.”
Sheldon: “It’s true. I suppose it’s only fair we make compromises.”
Leonard: “Look at you, being all mature.”
Sheldon: “I don’t know why you’re so surprised. If there’s one thing I know about after living with you for so many years, it’s how to compromise.”
Leonard: “I’m sorry. You make compromises for me?”
Sheldon: “All the time.”
Leonard: “On earth…? In our lives…? That we’re living…?”
Sheldon: “Yes… Just yesterday, you had a big piece of lettuce stuck in your teeth at lunch. Did I say anything? No. I compromised and kept my mouth shut. Like you should have because everyone was laughing at you.”
Leonard: “That is not a compromise. A compromise is me driving you everywhere because you refuse to learn how.”
Sheldon: “Oh, I learned how. Amy taught me.”
Leonard: “What? Why don’t you do it?”
Sheldon: “Well, it’s scary. And sometimes I get the pedals mixed up. But more importantly, driving me to work is one of the things that gives your life purpose. I can’t take that away from you, so… what do I do?… Oh c’mon, I am practically feeding you the answer! I compromise.”
Sheldon often came off as a self-centered individual who craved order and predictability. Many times, he proves to be arrogant and condescending while struggling to understand other people’s perspectives.
Since Sheldon could barely understand why people felt the way they did, he had to work on recognizing when a friend was feeling low. In a way, he made sure to study their expressions to identify their critical moments. Whenever this happened, Sheldon would make it a point to offer a warm beverage, be it a friend or a stranger at the door.
Simultaneously, Penny craved she could develop the ability to be academically smarter like her friends. While staying with them for so many years, she does show glimpses of academic ability when she goes back to school, suggesting her desire for intellectual growth.
Both these characters, however diametrically opposite, showcase their desire to balance their opposing traits. For instance, while Penny is socially adept, she strives to develop intellectually. On the other hand, Sheldon is logically driven and routine-oriented but strives to understand the role of emotions in human interaction.
That being said, both Penny and Sheldon do not have to develop their weaker traits as equally as their stronger abilities.
“Striking a balance does not always mean applying the 50-50 approach.”
~Krescon Coaches
It’s okay if one possesses robust qualities of analytical thinking while lacking creative abilities. If one wishes, one can work on developing a creative style of thinking and grow the intensity of it by a small quantum. So, one can be highly analytical with a slight dose of creativity.
Similarly, one can develop a balance between Spirituality and Secularity. Neither of the two needs to cancel out of each other through equal forces. It is okay to possess more of one quality while the other weaker trait can be worked up enough to not negatively affect the stronger side of an individual.
Therefore, striking a balance between your spiritual and secular self is a journey you may take. However, it is crucial to remember that balance is no longer to be looked at from a stereotypical perspective. When you let go of the notion of equalizing forces of balance, it frees you of the pressures of navigating life accordingly. This brings to mind a very short poem I came across on the internet but does not give credits. Nevertheless, I share it here:
The Harmony of Seasons
The harmony of seasons, in cycle and change,
Teaches balance, wide and strange.
From spring’s bloom to winter’s sleep,
In nature’s hands, balance we keep.
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